Now men generally don't like shopping, it seems all done by the girlfriend or her in doors, including the purchase of his underwear...
Me, I enjoy it strangely, at least I participate well, have to since a lot of my friends of girls, but as well since I'm very single.. I have to do it...
I point and nod, suggest and basically like ever other bloke trail round after the female, with handbags, draped coat and all other shopping bags, but I do check out other clothes.
Maybe this is part due to my father working in textiles and as a kid I sometimes had the opportunity to go into the factory and check out the fresh new material before it had been cut into shapes... or the many samples he brought home, being told what they were made of, fake or natural etc etc.
I didn't really pick up much on the names or the certain type of weave, my dads a 4th generation textile man and along with my grandpa, what they don't know could probably be written on a postage stamp, me I took a different direction....
But back to the shopping, after a while it is done, but as ever with big outlets comes the big queue... so my male brain takes over, I go and wait, with the rest of the days purchases.
I wander over to the only place with seating... outside the changing rooms.
It already looks like a gather place for males, sat while their mate tries a huge rack of clothes.
Seems that the male of the species, gets more defiant with age at shopping with their mate, this does depend on the size and of type of store.. in a recent "bargin" outlet just by the arrangement of shoes, sat what can only be described as a sea of pulled up chinos, like an aging Simon Cowell fan club... I wanted to try on some of the shoes... but most of the seats had an arse parked on it for over 20mins and had no intention of shifting...
In this area of seating, we all look like naughty kids waiting to see the headmaster at school, trying hard to distract ourselves.
Some sit head in hands probably wondering how they are to pay for the new in coat, others just look bored, thumb twidderling, picking their nose or nails and picking invisible lint off their clothes.
There are magazines to read, but not the kind that will fill the mind with fun and laughter, no a baby magazine, full of all sorts of things for babies, from the first dummy they suck to the nikey branded pants they will poo in.
The other a typical fashion magazines, with skinny people in, or the good looking flawless males and females, drapped in fashions that will never fit me, you or the normal types.
So where do we as males escape to in these times?.. thanks to smart phones, it's all head down to look at a small screen, blanking our minds to the "real life", searching for cat videos and any people hurting themselves... but as we find out some department stores don't have very good reception, so the distraction doesn't last long....
And soon it's purchases paid, american express will do nicely thank you... and off to the next shop to repeat the same process...
One day all shops will have a men area as well as a kiddy area, big tv's showing re-runs of micheala strackens boundless energy or nigella lawson's ample bossom or sarah beeneys or linda carters wonder woman, along with a big ball pit and slide...
.. I just hope I'm claimed at the end...
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