So once more and for the final time stare into my bouncing ball and gaze with wonder into past events......
Where did we leave it... oh yes Crunchy Nut had just been introduced to the Ghost of the future...
So who Are You?
But not a whisper came from the mouth of the Ghost in front of him...
So you are going to show me the course I could take, and according to the first two I have 3 options, each with an outcome... I've seen the past and the present but why should I worry about what might be.... I'm rich, and fairly content with what I have....
The Ghost then muttered..."3 fates".
First....
AHHHHHHHHHHH!..... Screamed Crunchy Nut....... as soon as the jaws snapped... he was back in his chair.....
"that wasn't so bad... really", he said with a quiver in his voice and poop in his pants...
" so this is my fate if I just stay like I am...."
The figure simply nodded...
Then once more he was whisked away.... and began to fall... towards this second fated doom!!!!
But just as the first touch of milk hit him and he began to dissolve, he was back in his chair.... but now he smelled a little more ripe.... like a tramps underpants...
"So these are my bad fates.... so what!"
"But..." said the figure... "it's what happens to others...."
The figure then placed a finger to his lips.... shhhh and the room vanished....
They stood in misty ground.... which cleared to reveal a cemetery....
"Where are we now?..." but the figure just pointed to a figure taking a piss on a grave....
"That's mine!", was crunchy nuts shocked expression
"You bastard Ebenezzer, all we wanted from you was one christmas dinner, but most of all your fortune when you died, but no... far to caught up in flying saucers and sh*t..... pssssssHHH! Kids your turn... and remember to wipe a bit of poo over the grave stone as you finish..."
"Cecil... How did this happen......you were the only one who understood"
Again things went misty... but clear once more....
and there was the cheerio family huddled around a small grave it's toothpick and blu tack cross hanging limply in the air....
"I'm sorry Tim that we didn't get to you in time with that kitchen cloth, we could have soaked up the milk with just Juan Sheet!, You was such a cheery soul, full of 14 vitamins and minerals, low in fat, a good source of calcium and fiber.... you was the whole grain, all in all good for the heart, I don't know what more could have been done... if only them burglars had left your gloves... things could have ended up different...."
The Cheerio Family just weeped more, their tears started to make them crumble..... and the ghost stayed silent...
"Poor half Tim", said Ebenezzer, "if only things could be different.... but they can this is the future.... I can change this.. I will change this..."
"I'll get to Penny world first thing and solve this..."
With this the Ghost hurtled him back to his house....
"what now..... what is my fate?"....
The ghost showed him.... a lone crunchy nut behind the fridge... slowly turning to dust... gone but not forgotten..."
His expression changed from one of sadness to one of glee!.
"That's the fate I want, and I shall have!".
With this declaration he woke up in his chair and jumped for joy and headed towards the window.
He threw open the window and shouted into the street.... "Oye urchin!..."
"What me?" said a ruff cheerio...
"Yes you with the hole... take this money and go to the butchers and get their two finest percy pigs and hurry back... there's a fifty in it for you...." and with that he threw down two pound coin toward the waiting cheerio... Thump... Chrunch....
"Oye other urchin..."
"What me sir?"
"Yes... take that coin over to the butchers and get me some percy pigs..."
"Righty hoo!. "and off he rolled to the butchers....
Once at the Burton Family Butchers, the cheerio when in and purchased the last 2 pigs... and took them back to crunchy nut's house.....
Here keep the change my boy...
"Wow a whole 50p, I'll be able to buy back my family again, after my father sold them to the local chemist for medical test dummies...."
but fate was not on this urchin cheerios side... the coins tipped... and there was some more crumbs on the paper laid pavement.
Crunchy nut, rushed off to his brothers house.. and banged on the door...
"Good morning! I bring you (rather late or early) christmas cheer and have brought you a fine percy pig for all the family to enjoy and presents... and a special one of kelly brook in sussys for you to enjoy in quiet of your parlour... wink wink nudge nudge.... I will take up your invite and shall be over boxing day.. with more presents.. good day to you and happy christmas.. I have a urgent errand I must attend too.."
"Who was that dear, oh the brother of the last owner ... he'd not realised he moved 5 years ago, but we did get a fine percy pig from the deal"
"Are you going to tell him of his mistake?... "
"I will but I'm just off to the parlour for a moment... I think what the butler saw machine is playing up...."
Ebnezzer rushed quickly off to Cheerios matchbox house...
He loudly banged on the door almost snapping it...
A tired bleery eyed Cheerio answered the door...
"Mr Crunchy Nut... what you doing here... I'm sorry to say that you've come at a bad time..."
"Worry not I've come to solve all your woes... first here's a big percy pig... and I managed to get all your presents and gloves for Tim... How is he?"
"Quick give me them gloves... they might just wake him..."
They wafted the woolen mittens under his little nose... with a tentative blink his eyes opened...
"Gloves?.... for me?" came a little voice.
"Yes tim, all yours and look matching socks, scarf and jumper, Mr Crunchy nut brought them for you.."
"How did you know sir?"
"Just say a change of heart helped me find out... now tim are you ready to run around outside... jump on my shoulders and we'll got out in the snow...."
So off they went in to the streets of the big smoke, running through the streets telling everyone to have a Merry Christmas... But tragedy came ebenzer slipped on some ice and dropped tiny tim to the hard floor.... Half Tim, Tim, I'm so sorry... Are you ok?...
"Sorry mister crunchy nut... I think half of me is done for.... but I'm ok... I think I'll have to get another crutch for my birthday..."
Oh how they laughed...
But Merry Christmas one and all (be it very late or very early)....
THE END...
I Fester know this tale to be true*, because if you go to a certain grave in Edinburgh you'll find a lone cereal sat on his masters grave howling at the moon.... but that is another story...
I maybe back next year... with more planning...
*it's all a lie really.
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