The boredom beard.

What is the boredom beard?

What you think a beard will look like..

Well I can just about answer that.. in the first instant, I'm not the best for growing facial hair... took me till I was over 21, to have something to actually shave off.. and my monthly growth still only looks like less than a week on a normal person..

My boredom beard has made an appearance before, but not as long as it has this time..

I tend to grow it when basically I'm bored with everything, life, friends, car, job, shaving and breathing... absolutely everything.. this kind of boredom starts when all you have to get up for each day is your job.. and that's it..

I could entertain myself for a little while but I can't lose myself in a fictional world, cause the trip back to reality is ever that harder...

What it really looks like!

Now everyone has times when they are down, mine can hit me hard... (See blog chasing the white whale..)

The first time it came about was about 10 years ago... again I was stuck slightly in a rut..
I'd just come back from abroad and was living in a flat with my mate, who at the time also just needed me to help pay the rent and treated me in such away at times too

He was going through his own issues, but got very selfish at times about them... never really seeing my side....

I must admit there was some good times and I remember both.

The flat we were in was a downstairs apartment on a newly built/unfinished apartment block (still wasn't finished over a year later), the previous tennants, had made the place reek of curry, which always hung around... and in what became my room, due to the acoustics of the whole building, I could hear the tennant 2 floors above taking a wee, right next to my head... how loud it was made me imagine he was about eleven foot high.. aiming from such a height made it as loud as it was on any given morning.. and grant him he was very regular..

But this was not the only problem, a spate of abandoned cars appeared in the carpark, which chavs and skallies used to drive about in and they regularly smoked right next to my window...

So being between jobs I was in most of the day, some change coming from visiting the deli on the corner for a coffee and a read and to get a smile from the lovely Lizze.. whose face escapes me now..

So in total there wasn't much going on and I was at one of my lowest points in my adult life..

But in this dark arena which was my life.. a light was soon to appear.. in the form of an internet relationship... that modern version of romance..

It all began from staying up late, since my day didn't have much in it... and all generally went swimmingly, apart from the times someone was selfish and I lost internet connection...

So soon after this the first boredom beard was cast from my face.. and flushed down the drain..

But 10 years later here I am with a hairy face.. it does distract me from my annoyance and vague unhappiness, which fills my day...only there is no light in the darkened arena this time, everything now is just done because of routine...

Whether I have reach the natural point in life where things should be full of family and kid things..
(I still have parents and my sister and niece and nephew)  but being neither married or a father and mostly having only my own company... I think the situation doesn't know what to do.. and just becomes a void..

Everything is mixed and mashed up... I've not really had a clear feeling in a while.. mostly they have blended together, so routine can continue and appear normal.. A friend actually suggested drugs to help take the edge off a bit back...

What my future holds?

I'm lost in my hopelessness unable to change my situation.. because I don't have the knowledge too either... a catch 22!... but the beard helps normalize things a little.. but without anything clear..

How long will the beard remain?...